There’s this really sweet tradition my hubbi and I have formed. We send each other emails, regularly, and in those emails we talk about the thoughts in our minds while we spend our day updating each other about our lives, oh yeah and living them obviously.
It’s a really nice tradition. That and the nightly voice notes for when we wake up. It feels really sweet, peaceful. It feels simple. Yet it feels complete.
I wanted to write this post here rather than as an email because I wanted to dive a bit deeper into my life rather than the passing thoughts I have each day.
Something I’ve lacked deeply in my life, not just from partners but from people close to me has always been intellectual stimulation. That’s not to say I am not surrounded by smart people, I am. But they are the kind of smart that I can’t comprehend, engineers, doctors, coders and things of that nature, scientists too (but my girls a physicist and she explains shit well and sweetly so that kind of smart I’m beginning to understand). I’m a writer, not much more than that. I observe, imagine and attempt to create. What makes things so special is so is she, mind you from what I’ve seen she’s a good poet, though it’s not traditional poetry some of her pieces truly shake my core. If anyone would like to give it a read, https://wherethemoonwentquiet.com.
So she understands, she shares, she listens but beyond it all, she stimulates my mind. She makes me think of my own life in healthy ways, she reminds me to care at times I couldn’t bother to by my own volition, she enforces her beliefs while making room for mine because I do enforce mine too. She just makes me think. Whether it’s when we watch Oppenheimer and she explains each detail even the fucking slit theory. Or whether it’s when she writes and the choices of words, the diction she employs makes my brain tingle. Even watching her cook makes me feel intellectually present. It’s hard to explain but I love her because she can do so many things at once, maintain different threads in her mind while doing different things simultaneously. Never getting confused, yes she’s a bit stupid, but the cute trip on your own feet kind, I only say that knowing how impressive she is hehe. The lists, the notes on her phone, the reminders, the responsibility, yet the space to love and be with an entire other human being, is just truly phenomenal. There’s nothing I can say but oof I’m blessed that faith has intertwined our faiths.
I’ve never truly enjoyed having a conversation as much as I do with her. It’s truly just like the words take their rightful space in my mind. Anything and everything, from random anecdotes, to stories of her family, to the love we share, anything and everything she says is just beautiful to listen to. Do I truly love her being a conspiracy theorist, one who might even be worse than me.
It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. Truly I can’t be more appreciative of the fact that after a very very long time, my mind feels at peace in another’s presence. Not just peace, protected and not just protected, possessed. Phenomenal.
The intrusive thoughts don’t feel as intrusive when you can share them with someone and more often than not they are like no way I was about to say the same thing.
I’m just grateful for all of it.
A Sane Undertaking 