Sleep?

I wish I could explain it well enough, this insomnia.

It’s just about 4, it just hit 4 actually.

I’m baked, I’ve been up since 11am, yet I can’t sleep. It’ll probably be another few hours before I can get some shut eye, I hope not though.

Last night I dreamed about someone I shouldn’t have, twice. Both times her, both times waking up realising that the happiness was only a figment of my subconscious.

I don’t like it, waking up alone.

What’s worse though is I’ve gotten used to it, after not having to for quite a bit.

What’s the worst is sleeping though, that I could never do alone, it’s always been easier to sleep being held. I don’t know what problem needs to addressed with that, but I’d just like to sleep.

The kind where you wake up, peak and see someone nestled into you, at peace.

The kind that makes me feel at peace.

I’d just like to sleep with the right amount of warmth.

This post just leaves me feeling upset and angry at myself.

Maybe I should’ve just allowed marriage to be an option, at least I’d sleep.

Had I committed.