I should be able to write about happy things, but when I’m happy I don’t feel like writing, cause I only know how to write about grief. It’s all I’ve left for the longest.
Yesterday, someone told me I’m not allowed to be going through this. That it’s been too long for me to be able to need to process all this. That’s funny to me, how can a downward spiral be by my choice. I would much rather be fine, be happy.
But I’m not, so I’m dealing with it, not in the smartest way. But the only way I haven’t tried; communication. I have a friend who thinks its dumb to try and forget people and that the goal should be to still have them in your life. I couldn’t do it then, with so many people.
Maybe I’m supposed to try to, but what if it’s like not okay, what if i’m not allowed for the sake of the problems it could cause. would it be easier if I just disappeared?
A Sane Undertaking 