okay

i’m a bit into your name, having a very complicated time watching this movie. it’s not my first time watching it, but it reminds me a lot of this dream, these dreams I’ve been having. The movie is basically premised around two people who switch bodies ever so often and are looking for each other, they’ve lived each others lives.

I don’t wake up sober much, so sometimes I wake up, open my eyes and open my laptop and start reading nicely curated pieces of literature, never too long never too short. I read them and they say so much, speak to me so directly. But then I close my eyes wake up and do the same things, like reading songs of ourselves. Only to realise what I read wasn’t there, it was a dream in a mistaken haze, in con-fusion.

Reminds me a lot of this movie I’m watching, the closer one feels, the more distant they realise they are. It’s a horrible tragedy. I need to start doing shit with my life, I’m thinking about getting an apartment with a friend from college of mine, weird how we came into each others lives, almost out of neccesity. yo thanks for not letting me die that night, weird how I woke up holding ur hand in the hospital, with blood all over my ironic forearm.

It’ll be nice, make me feel less stuck in this campus, let me make new friends. been a bit since i’ve woken up to anything but my keyboard. would be nice remembering what freedom was like, being able to bring ppl into your goddamn room. I think it’ll be good for me, shit like that never distracted me well cause I could never seperate it from the person I was with. Idk, i think im better equipped for life now, but less motivated to go at it.

I’d like very much to leave this campus though, and soon. I miss meerut a lot, and I miss Sonny Sweets behind the caltex pump quite a lot, had an old friend that lived there. Lots of old friends that have intermingled and grown apart from others. I mean I’m literally here with a guy I was sure I would never see after cedar. weird.