Love

I do believe I’m a hedonist, even as I write this I’m intoxicated; not a lot though.

I work on myself, I want to be better, I work to be better all because when I had what I wanted; I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t enough for what I needed to be. I couldn’t handle a relationship the way I can now. I lacked maturity enough to prioritise.

Now, that I believe I’m ready for love, I can’t bring myself to be interested in anyone. How can I? When I had experienced love, albeit toxic love, but the toxic was as much a part of me as it was a part of her and the relationship. I find myself at a point in my life, where I am sure I can handle what I couldn’t before, and more.

But there’s no one to love, not even myself. Not anymore.

I was, I am too late.